Welcome back me.

Well it's been a few years since I've blogged and seeing as I've found myself back at my brother's place in Hove, in front of the same old desk, I thought I'd see if anyone noticed if I revisitied ThoughtsOfMouldy. Leave a comment if you do notice.

So I'm not going to list what has changed - that will become apparant as I write.

So here goes...

Yesterday, I ran the Hastings Half Marathon for the second time and improved by about 11 minutes. I'm amazed with myself and really chuffed. It was also my fastest and most enjoyable half marathon yet. I actually felt like I had some control over the way I performed, like it was more than an endurance event. It was a race, there were tactics and a plan that I formulated and stuck to and it paid off. It was a brilliant experience and I don't even feel that rough today.

So now, I'm taking on my biggest challenge yet; a marathone. The Loch Ness marathone in October to be precise. So I'm going to have to build on that planning skill and stick to a whole new agenda.

Wish me luck.

Tomorrow Belongs To Me

I've reached a pinacle of sorts. Last night I ran a personal best at the Worthing 10K. My time of 51 minutes 39 seconds represents an imporvement of around 6 minutes from my first race back in November.

Whilst this is great, and the comments and support from my friends and colleagues have really pleased me, what yesterday showed me was how much personal satisfaction I was getting out of it. I saw for a minute a realistic goal and saw too how to get there.

Running is great because it's so methodical. You run more and you improve. And as you improve you get fitter and thinner. Plus, I've found that my attitude to the "bad things" has changed too. I don't fry ups and burgers now because I can clearly see that they have a negative impact on the running.

I still think I need to change more but its going well. Who would've thought it?

Fat of the Land

I shouldn’t have just eaten that mini bakewell. Or that cookie!

BUT

I have gone vegetarian.

Just spoken to my Dad;
Me; “Can you make sure my Mother knows that I no longer eat meat?”
Dad; “Again? Ha ha ha! But she’s cooking steak…”
Me; “Oh well.”
Dad; “Lovely, juicy steak with lots of fries. Mmmmmmm!”
Me; “Well, I’m not eating meat so that wouldn’t interest me.”
Dad; “Don’t be daft, I’ll tell her you want some. Bye” and he hangs up.

Excuses, excuses!

"Mouldy, you're overweight! Why is this?"

Well, I picked up some excess baggage during adolescence and coupled with my thyroid problem and my massive appetite have never been able to lose it.

"Why do you smoke?"

Its an addiction and I have an addictive personality.

"Why aren't you fit?"

I just don't have the time to excercise.

"Why does your love-life consist of one unhealthy, inappropiate crush after another?"

I'm naive. In many ways its a good quality to have.

"Why don't you do something about it?"

Please see my responses above.

* * *

That's a conversation I might have had last week, or last month or at any point over the last 27 years.

Well, no more. That's it. No excuses please. Just progress.

There are brighter things to life...

Lunchtime today.

Me, The Crush, Sharron, Marly.

We talked about;

How diffiuclt it is to buy a house.

The Crush, it seems, is quite a political theorist and has a whole manifesto and extended politcal idea. It seems quite a good idea but then he could meticulously describe fascist totalitarianism to me and I would go away thinking "what a good idea!". Or maybe not. Anyway, this particular theory involves taking away state benefits and replacing it with enforced labour. Interesting idea, if a little Right Wing.

Marly advised "NEVER GET MARRIED!". Marly is married. The rest of us are all single. Marly's advice is that the best reason to stay single is that you can always sit at home on the sofa and watch exactly what you want on the television when you are single. This isn't the case when you are married because you have to look after kids and mop the bathroom floor when the flood the bathroom. However, as The Crush so eloquently pointed out, you can't do that when you are single either cos you're always too busy going out trying to get into a relationship. I think life is a Catch 22 situation.

I went to see Sunshine the other night with Jazz. It was a good film but I just don't get Sci-fi! Someone has sat down and come up with the idea that the world is frozen and the only way of saving it is to send a spaceship filled with 8 stupidly good looking people who are supposed to be physicists and astronauts, to the Sun to restart it. It was quite beautiful and had some exciting parts but it was so claustrophobic. One spaceship. They can't even nip outsie for a bit of fresh air. No, I'm afraid you can keep your science fiction. I mean - Stars Wars, what a load of crap.

Does the body rule the mind?

Sunday 15th April, 10am.

Arundel Park 10K, Arundel West, Sussex.

Kilometre 5.

A fat, northern, homosexual struggles up a ridiculously steep hill. He slows to a snail's pace, and eventually gives in to a walk, gasping for air likes he's underwater. Its too much. The one thing he aimed to do (not stop running) has proved too much and he feels like a failure.

He hates himself. He hates everyone he knows. He hates everyone he has ever met and especailly all those people around him, passing him, all of them seemingly older and fatter and yet with much more energy than him. Much more desire to carry on.

He regrets every burger, every third helping, every pint and, most of all, every cigarette. He declares war on it all! Especailly the fat, The Fat's days are numbered. It's on its way out.

Stop me if you think you've heard this one before

So I've become a little obsessed of late with "The Crush" and it's time
to get back to a bit of reality. The truth, in case you're wondering,
is that this crush is nothing more than a fabrication of emotion
designed to distract myself from someone who is many miles away at the
moment. And while this plan is working now, it seems unlikely that it
will have much longevity.

* * *
So what else is happening, I ask myself?

Work is poo of course, but I seem physically incapable of doing anything about it. I wouldn't say my job was a Mcjob
as such but it is pretty soul destroying when it goes badly. The
problem is that I love the people I work with and as times goes on I
seem to meet more and more lovely people (The Crush, for example) and
this makes it harder to leave. I guess its all about breaking the
cycle, but how does one go about this.

* * *
At this minute,
I am at my brother's house in Hove. I've just run about 4k on Hove
seafront which was lovely but bloody hard work as my legs felt like
lead. I'm trying to get fit for a 10K race on Monday but I fear one
week isn't quite long enough. One thing that I have learnt though, is
that pain isn't always bad and you can run through it.

* * *
A
friend of mine who has been going through a pretty rough time lately
made me think today. She said, "I'm surrounded by some truly amazing
people and I'm so grateful for that!". Now before you reach for the
sick bucket, hear me out! It got me thinking about how we never really
say to those around us how much they mean. How we never really show
true affection. So I'd like to say now that I too am surrounded by some
truly amazing people. At work, in Brighton and at home (my housemates
are two of the greatest people I have ever met). And yet because I
can't tell them how I feel, I'm going to write it here. I love you all.

What if...?

Supposing the Crush reads this. That would be embarassing. Especially if he was able to identify who he was from the subtle clues I have left.

So, The Crush, if you are reading this, I am not some obsessive psycho idiot. I am a nice guy.